Sasodei- Lover's rage
by Cookies-of-the-sand
Summary: A sorrowful Sasodei based off of my own romantic experiences. Pairings- SasorixDeidara No lemons. Rated T for swearing and violence.


**Sorry I realise I haven't written a story in a long time, you see I was told by a fortune teller that the bones read that great misfortune would fall upon me if I wrote for 3 months. But now that those lonely months of avoidance and writers block are up I have picked up my pen again to write a Sasodei for anyone that has the desire to read it. It is based off my own relationship experience over the last year, I don't know why I have had such back luck with romance but I believe it is down to the yellow flowers I received from a friend. It has always been rumoured that yellow flowers bring love problems. Anyway, enough about me. The emotional side of this story may be a little hard to understand if you haven't had a bad breakup yourself but nevertheless I hope you enjoy the story**

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><p>Sasori sat in his armchair unmoving, the filthy brown leather cold beneath the shallow warmth of his body. He lay with his head back, empty eyes staring up at something no one else could see. His once beautiful features were stained with dry tears, cherry lips parted gently in a quiet scream. Mud covered fingernails twitched silently, as if to play a song on a piano that no longer existed. A black widow spider scuttled across the dank, dusty floor and crawled over the bare feet of the once smug, lively man who used to live there but now sat silently; soul shattered. The man's bright red hair now crusted with dust shuddered as he took a wheezing breath. Miserable thoughts dragged their way through his mind, a single name present in them all- Deidara... He thought back to the 27th of September, the day when everything started to fall apart...<p>

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><p>The biting autumn wind ruffled the blond hair of his boyfriend as they walked home from yet another day at work. Sasori's long, black trench coat flapped gently. His tall leather boots producing an audible "clack!" As he strolled along the uneven sidewalk next to the blond. Sasori breathed out, trying to find the words. The words he had been trying to say since the moment they were alone. "Deidara..." The younger man turned and smiled slightly "yeah Danna un?" The carver lowered his eyes and the blond's smile faltered "Danna?" He looked up slightly and scratched the back of his head "Deidara... I can't do this anymore, I can't take it. I've been planning this for a while now, I just didn't want you to know because I knew you would try to stop me-" he tried to continue, but his tongue tied in knots, he couldn't say goodbye to him... A single tear rolled down the man's cheek. Deidara's brow furrowed in anger, he stopped walking, "Don't say it Sasori" he dropped to 'un' to show that he was serious. Sasori gulped, shuffled his feet, kicking up a cloud of dirt. "I h-have to, I have already made the noose. You know what will happen next..." The blonde felt his anger bubble "so you're just going to give up?!"<p>

"I'm sorry..."

"No! Sorry isn't good enough! You can't do this to me!" The artist bit his lip, he knew his Danna was very depressed but he didn't know he had slipped this far. To think the man he had looked up to was now suicidal...he didn't understand. Recently old memories of his Danna's parents had resurfaced and his partner had spiralled back into depression ever since, but to think he had been pushed to this? No way.

They continued to talk, after a couple of long hours the blond had persuaded him to stay. Sasori's brown pools widened as he was pulled into a hug, "just...be careful, call me if anything happens" "...yeah" The blond gave Sasori a chaste kiss before taking off to run some errands. He looked down at his feet and kicked up some more dirt, he felt a bit better but those words spoken earlier still resonated. "I don't know why I stay when I'm unhappy but I do" it bothered him deeply...

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><p>A fly flew across his field of vision, emanating a low buzz. Sasori blinked slowly, he breathed out another rattling breath before reaching over to the side table and taking a drink of stale water from the stained glass that rested slightly to the right of the old coaster. He spilt a little down the front of the old black, 'Misfits' shirt that clung to his wiry frame. He laid his head back once more and brushed a single cobweb off his knee, dust clouds exploding from his faded, black of the blue a coughing fit seized him in it's icy claws and rattled him to the brink of conscience. But he couldn't care less, for the memory that came after that upset him more than anything else...<p>

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><p>He shuffled back down the garden path, there was a soft click as the small key was turned in the lock. Sasori twisted the bronze knob and walked through into the hallway, he set his phone on the dusty side table next to the old leather armchair. He walked through into the kitchen and flicked on the lights, grabbing a glass of water before making his back to his chair in an attempt to collect his thoughts. The leather was cold beneath him, he was reaching for a blanket when he heard the low buzz of his phone as a new message was delivered. He leaned back and reached for the Nokia, he flipped it open, the light driving away the shadows of the dankly lit room; he had always been cheap when it came to water and electricity bills. "1 new message Deidara Iwa" it read, the man's interest was peaked. The dark pupils of his eyes shrinking, adjusting to the light as he stared at the screen and started to read. "Are you alright?" He smiled slightly, he hardly ever smiled properly, not since his parents had died. There was the light clicking sound you hear as he tapped his response into the keyboard, "I'm fine, feeling better now thanks to you. Thank you for that, it means a lot to me brat. By the way about what you said earlier, did you mean it when you said you were unhappy?" He pressed send and set the phone down again, picking up the book he had been reading earlier; Inheritance by Christopher Paolini. The were a few minutes of silence before he heard the buzz again. "Yeah, I meant everything I said. Un."<p>

Sasori froze for a moment, before scrolling down the list of contacts to the brat's name. He pressed the call button and held the phone up to his ear, he sat motionless and listened to the tone as it rang. His breath hitched in his throat as the blond picked up. "Hello? Un."

"Hello, brat I just want to talk about and apologise for earlier."

"It's alright, it ain't your fault. So yeah, what's buggin you? Un."

"What's bugging me is what you said..."

"Said what? Un"

"About you being unhappy and unsure about why you stay"

"Oh yeah, un it's just with you being so depressed and all things have gotten a little hard"

"Oh ok, again sorry about earlier. It seems to be happening quite a lot now, I don't mean to hurt you so badly"

"I know un"

"So is anything else wrong?"

"Nah nothing, Hidan being a annoying as fuck is all un"

"Really? You seem to be a little off your game recently"

"Uh it's nothing, I'm just being bitchy. Anyway I gotta go, I've got Kakuzu on the other line. I see you later though un"

"Of course, tell him I said hello. Goodbye brat"

"Bye Danna un"

Sasori slowly shut the phone, something was obviously bothering the blond and it offended him slightly that he didn't feel he could share it with him. He glanced around the room quickly, he couldn't see much in the dim light. But still he could only just make out the picture frames hung on the dingy walls. The only clean things in the house. Sasori would have loved to keep the whole place clean but between work, his few friends and Deidara he simply didn't have the time. But he always had the time to polish those pictures. The ornate, gold frames of the three pictures gleamed in the low light, those pictures were his prized possessions; one of his third kazekage puppet, one of him and Deidara and the last photograph ever taken of his parents. He treasured them more than his own life. Sasori sighed and took a sip of water before picking up his phone again, he texted Deidara. He had decided, Deidara was going to tell him even if he had to force it out of him. It was Sasori's own twisted way of caring.

"Just tell me brat. I'm worried about you"

The phone buzzed again, "don't worry about it Danna, I'm just being stupid"

"If you're just being stupid then what's the harm in telling me?"

"You're too fragile at the moment. I said no."

"Brat it'll only bother me more if you don't tell me"

"Alright then fine. It's you, us. I like you but I don't love you. I'm sorry danna I really am."

Sasori dropped the phone in shock, the once smooth screen splintered and shards were strewn across the floor. Fractured, just like his heart. He felt his deep brown eyes begin to well up with tears and his body began to shake and shudder, he couldn't quite get his breath out as a lump formed in his throat. Then everything happened at once. Tears started to pour down his cheeks and he cried out in despair, his hand shot down to the shattered phone and pounded in the number. It started to ring. "...hello? Un"

"What the hell? What's going on? What did I do?" He hiccuped and spluttered, struggling to get his words out.

"Danna I'm sorry, I didn't want to say anything because I knew you would react like this. You haven't done anything wrong in just a bit confused at the moment"

"But why what?"

"It's ok, you need to sleep we can talk in the morning. I'd rather be alone at the moment. Goodnight baby"

Sasori managed to splutter out a goodbye before the blond hung up. Then he cried. He cried till he could cry no more. He slid onto the dusty floor, cutting his hands open on the broken glass and wept. A few hours past and he stopped crying, he managed to haul himself back into the chair and wiped away the last couple of stray tears. He sniffed and lay back, adjusting the blanket draped over his lap. He got up and dragged himself upstairs to bed, lay down and fell into a fitful sleep.

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><p>There was an audible bang as yet another letter scraped it's way through the old copper letter box, it fell onto the pile of unopened, discarded mail the now graced the floor in front of the door. Sasori sighed slowly his eyes flicked from the pool of letters to his phone, then back to the letters. Another wheezing breath slithered out of his lungs. He reached over to the side table nocking his book off, it hit the floor with a loud "smack". He glanced down at it, but made no move to retrieve it. He clasped the old pack of cigarettes that lay face down on the table and pulled one out, lit it with the lighter he found under his bed a couple of days before and put it up to his mouth. He coughed as the tobacco entered his lungs, the taste of nicotine burned into the back of his throat as if to punish him for his foolishness. And he lay back, losing himself in smoke and the following memory...<p>

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><p>Sasori woke up that morning with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. You could say it was that kind of feeling you get when you know something is about to go horribly wrong. He slunk down to the kitchen and turned on the kettle, pulled out a mug, the tea and the sugar. He dropped in the teabag and poured in the water, he cursed loudly as some of it splashed onto his hand, scalding him. He growled under his breath and started dumping in the sugar, he couldn't stand bitter tea. Deidara had always joked and said he needed lots of sugar because he wasn't sweet enough. Deidara... He shook his head, desperately trying to cast away any thoughts of the blond. Sasori finished making the tea and carried it into the room, sat in his chair and picked up his book. It was Sunday so he didn't have any work, his phone rang and he checked the caller ID. Itachi Uchiha. He flicked open the Nokia and put it up to his ear.<p>

"Hello?"

"Good morning Sasori, how are you? Have you taken your pills today? Your fluoxetine is important"

"Ugh, yeah I have taken my pills. I have a headache so make it quick, what do you want calling me up at this ungodly hour of the morning?"

"Don't let Hidan catch you saying that, anyway sorry for any inconvenience but have you finished organising Thursdays bank statements? I need to file a report for Wednesday and hoped you could send me a copy"

Sasori grunted, "figures" itachi was always straight to the point. It confused him slightly that Itachi had called him, he never spoke much and if he did it was only to Kisame. "Yes I do have them, I'll email them to you as soon as possible"

"Thank you. I'll see you at work tomorrow. Goodbye"

"Bye"

He shut the phone with a click. He sighed, his computer was all the way in the other room and he just couldn't be bothered to walk all the way there just to stare at some shitty bank statements. Besides, he had too much on his mind right now. Sasori grunted and reopened his phone, he typed in Deidara's number and put it on loudspeaker so he could take a sip of his tea. There was a shuffling noise on the other end of the line before a muffled "yeah? Un"

"Hello, I demand to talk about last night" he took another sip of his tea burning his lips on the hot liquid.

There was a loud groan, "come on Danna it's too early for this un"

"Not it isn't tell me brat I'm worried about you"

"Don't call me a brat" Deidara muttered, slightly irritated. "There's nothing to say, I don't love you. I like you but not love that's it"

Sasori felt his anger spike "so you thought you could just dump me by text?!"

"I didn't want to but you forced me to tell you un"

"That's not the point" Sasori growled "how could you do this to me? I need you!"

Deidara felt himself begin to get angry "I'm not trying to hurt you I just don't love you!"

"What about all those times you said you did?!"

"I didn't know it would turn out like this! I don't think I've ever loved you I just wanted to see what it would be like to be with a man!" Deidara froze, he knew he had said too much. There were a few seconds of silence before Sasori opened his mouth again.

"So I was just some meaning less test?! You disgusting, lying, two faced little shit!" Hissed the red head.

"That's not what I meant it came out wrong you weren't a test I just wanted to see what it would be like!"

"That's a test you backwards cunt!" He spat.

"Listen to me for once-" Deidara didn't get a chance to finish as Sasori had already slammed the phone shut. He stood and picked up the mug of scalding tea and hurled it at the picture of him and Deidara. It smashed into it throwing glass shards everywhere to go with the shards from the phone screen. Tea dripped down the wall as the beautiful frame fell to the floor with a crash. Sasori roared with rage and threw himself back into his chair and stomped on his phone. It was smashed to pieces beneath his leather boot.

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><p>And that's how he had gotten here, sitting in his leather armchair with a broken picture frame, stale old water and a smashed up phone beneath his foot. His anger long since subsided and only sorrow remaining. Three days had passed since that phone call and Sasori had not moved since. He just sat there, staring up at something no one else could see. Konan had come by to check on him the day before but he had not even stirred when she tapped on the old front door. Nobody had heard from him, nobody cared. He laid his head back and shut his eyes.<p>

Voices repeated, nobody cares nobody cares. It was with these voices in his ears that his anger started to bubble, despair took over, heat started to flow to his joints and he stood up slowly, the dim light of the room casting a shadow across his face. His tall leathers boots let out an eerie crack as they strode over the broken glass, he pulled his black, leather trench coat off the hook and yanked it over his crooked frame. He placed his black fedora onto the red, dusty mess that passed for his hair, pulling it low over his face; shielding his identity. He left out the back door, didn't leave a mark, no one knows it's him. He walked down the streets, one foot in front of the other, click, clack, click, clack...

Under the light of the moon he arrived at his destination, an old flat in Umslunger. He tried the door, locked. It didn't matter, he knew where they kept the key. His hand slid under the door mat, a cloud of filth erupted as he set it back down. Key in hand. He turned the small piece of metal over in his icy fingers before sliding it into the lock, with a click it opened. His boot connected with he floor he had walked so many times before, he began to climb the stairs. The third floor, flat B. With a creak he reached the top and walked up to the door. He could hear the blond inside, watching the Jeremy Kyle show as he always did. The door was open. He walked in. Deidara's eyes widened at the intruder. Sasori's hand slipped into the pocket of his jeans, it came out with a Glock clutched in it's grip. Without remorse, he pulled the trigger.

There was a loud thump as the limp body fell to the floor, blood began to collect in a puddle. Deidara stared in horror at his Danna's motionless body, the gun still clasped in his hand. Throwing himself down next to him he screamed, he noticed something in Sasori's other hand. A crumpled piece of lined paper, the sort from a notebook. It only had two words scribbled on it, _I'm sorry_. Deidara hugged the note to his chest, the line had been crossed. There was nothing he could do. If any neighbours had cared enough to come after hearing the gunshot, all they would have found was a blond young man, hunched over the broken, blood covered body of his best friend. With a note clasped to his chest.

7


End file.
